I want to give a “Thank You” shout out to all of my ninjaz out there that have been concerned for me since my mom & dad’s passing last year! Your thoughts and well wishes have kept me going strong throughout this rocky past year – as is evident by me finally getting the website up and running anew… Thank you all for being patient… I am well aware that the chinaman machine keeps running because you all are behind it! I am looking forward to putting out more content for you and your ninjaz to share!! Without the laughter and support of my fans I am a comic telling a joke in a forest with one hand clapping….
BigVinRecords DVD/CD?
Well, I’ve finally come to terms with my parents being gone and now I must look at doing what I was going to do before life took me on that journey… and that’s make a DVD to distribute throughout the U.S. at a store near you!
I feel that the time is right to do it…. I have never felt more rock nfn roll in my life and my passion for what I do is at an all new high! Now, where to film it!?! It’s gotta be a place where I can pack at least 500 of the biggest Chinamaniacs in the country…. Stay tuned, I will be hitting my NINJAZ with details on the filming location and dates!
Chinaman Available!
You wanna have a bang-out, blow-it-up, rock nfn roll, comedy show at YOUR PLACE?
I got yer blazin one and one half hour comedy show right here!! You'll smell what the WOK is cookin!
To look into booking me, hit me here: chinaman@mesofunny.com
Strictly for my Armed Forces Ninjaz
My Dad was a Marine for 20 years… In honor of his unselfish service to our country during the Vietnam War, I have set up a donation program at all of my live shows to send copies of my CD to the soldiers of our country…. For every one dollar donated, I can burn and send overseas two full recordings of my show!
Here is what they look like:
So far we have raised this much from each of these cities:
Peoria, IL: $91
Salt Lake City, UT: $54
Tulsa, OK: $63
Ft. Worth, TX: $87
Houston, TX: $56
Little Rock, AR: $65
Wichita, KS: $424
That’s over 1600 CDs that are in the process of being distributed!! Thank you my ninjaz for helping me get these to the brave men and women serving our country!
Jane Ruiz is a friend of mine in the Reserves.... I am proud to say that I have known her since the early nineties… She is currently in Balad, Iraq…. She recently wrote from there:
“Hi Mark,
I hope all is well with your family. I am fine and adjusting well to life in HELL!!!! LOL
I have an idea for your CDs if you’re still interested in letting me hand them out in this country. I have to give you a little of my reality first. So prepare yourself it’s not pretty.I work as a Casualty Liaison. I work in the ER at the Balad CSH (Hospital). On a daily basis I get the results of all the horror going on outside the wire. I have seen a young man (19 years old) come in to the ER because an IED (improvised explosive device sometimes referred to as a roadside bomb) has blown off both his arms and legs. I have seen a man die in front of me because we could not bring him back from the bullet wound to the neck. I have seen men with no faces die to land mines. I have seen small children come in with IED burns and bullet wounds to the head. I have seen a man so badly burned by an IED blast that his eye lids were burned shut. Nothing I get to see for 12 hours a day 7 days a week is good. My heart breaks every day. I am not sure what I did in my past life to deserve such torture but what ever it was is was very very bad. But on the other hand I am dealing with this much better that I ever thought I could. My day to day job. I go out to the helipad or where the black hawks land and unload patients and bring them into the ER. I help the Dr's when needed with such things as rolling patients over to see if there are any wounds on there back side, getting equipment and performing CPR and giving iv's when needed. After the Dr's do there assessments I have to try and figure out who the patient is. Their name, Social security number, if they are in the military which branch and what rank they are, what unit they are in, and what they were doing when they got hurt. If the patient is awake I will ask them for the information. Like if they were on a convoy when an IED went off. OK, then I find out where they were what kind of vehicle they were in and where they were sitting. I get the Dr diagnosis and if it was hostile or non-hostile. I send all of this information to the Department of the army in Washington DC so they can notify the families back in the states. The hardest ones are the ones that don't make it.........I also make sure I take the time when a patient is stable and is able to talk, I walk to the wards and make sure I speak to each and every one of them. No matter what they have been through or what they look like I want each and every one of them to know that I am here and if they need me I will come no matter what time of day or night. I always go in with a smile not matter what is going on. I know it’s not a pretty job but for the first time in my life I feel like I am really making a difference in peoples’ lives.
OK, so now that you have the details of my job, this is what I want to do. For those soldiers that come through here and make it, I would like to give them a copy of your CD. I just think that these are the ones that need to have laughter in their lives the most. And if they can, even if its just for a few minutes, put some head phones on and forget about all of the pain and laugh a little…even if they cant laugh out loud that all…it would be good for them for a brief moment …and if they ever need to get to that place again they will have you to help them to that. I know that I am asking a lot and I would completely understand if you are unable to do such a thing. Just let me know what you think.
Thanks, Jane”
NINJA, PLEASE! You don’t even have to ax! They are in the mail! Jane is just one of my ninjaz helping the chinamachine spread the laughter throughout the military! NINJA, THANK YOU! If you would like to give a positive shout out to my ninja Sgt. Jane Ruiz…. Then e-mail her here and let her know you appreciate what she is doing for the United States troops.
Material lifting cousin Stea Ling?!?
I have received numerous emails from my ninjaz tellin’ me that they have been seeing some of my material appearing in movies (Chris Tucker in Rush Hour 3 saying, “I’m Chinese all above the waist!”) and on television (SNL’s take on a caulk bit and a Sofa King commercial & Carlos Mencia on Mind of Menstealia (I hacked that from Joe Rogan) saying “Ninja, Please” and “if you have crack, put some caulk in it!”) These are just things that have come back to me…. I only have seen proof of the Rush Hour 3 line and the SNL caulk bit… In fact, SNL is the main reason I had dropped the caulk bit from my act! Too many people were approaching me after the show and axing if I got that bit from SNL….And to those and lots of others I have to say NINJA, PLEASE! Those who have been fans, for a long time know my integrity in writing! Chinaman wakes up early each morning to pick every comedy gem by hand… I would like to see some of the other bits, so….. said in the voice of the late Robert Stack “If you, or any of your friends have seen the rest of the unseen bits described above, please email the link where the bit can be found to chinaman@mesofunny.com “
Strictly for my Texas ninjaz…
In Texas, you can get rid of a traffic ticket and reduce your car insurance 10% by taking a 6 hour defensive driving course. My comedy buddy KellyBob and I spent 2 years writing and voicing this online comedy defensive driving course! It ain’t easy makin’ this textbook crap funny! I guarantee that comedydefensivedriving.com is THE funniest defensive driving course available online for Texas!
Come spend 6 hours online with me and the voices in my head! This is a one-of-a-kind course… there is NO other course like it online. The entire course is animated so there is NO reading at all… SO EASY A NINJA COULD DO IT!!! So, if you’ve got a ticket and are lookin’ to get it removed or you just need to lower your insurance this is the rock nfn roll way to do it in your pajamas at home on your time schedule. You can pause it and resume it days even weeks later, until the 6 hour course is completed! And even better, there is no reading to be done! It’s all one long streaming movie! Go here for a preview, I told them the music is too loud, but you can still get an idea of what’s inside!
My biggest rock influence…. Dimebag Darrell
Having Dime in my life for the year and a half before some asswipe so senselessly tore him away from us, was the single most pivotal occurrence in my carrer thus far… Some of the quirks I picked up from him have brought me to some of the finishing touches of where I am onstage today…
One of my most touching Dimebag stories to tell is when Vinnie Paul (Dimebag’s brother) came up to me after Dime’s death…. This was in December 2004, shortly after Dime’s funeral…. I saw him at Hyena’s in Fort Worth, he came up to me and said, “I gotta show you something that I don’t think you knew about.” He pulled out a pick with Dime’s picture on one side…. “Dime had these printed before he was taken to hand out at the NAMM guitar convention.”… He turned it over and it said, “NINJA PLEASE” on the other side… My heart dropped…. “He always loved your show,” Vinnie said as he handed me a handful of them…. I NEVER knew! I NEVER knew! I mean, I knew that he dug my show… but I never realized how much until he was gone…. These picks remind me of the carefree, smooth-sailing, giving, fun-loving, nature of the dude that left this earth so early….
And now a little something funny I found on the net:
