Live Show taped for XM Radio—(Available as download only)
Smell what the WOK was cookin' on XM satellite (August/September 2006)! There were two shows that I taped for XM only one made it to air... but, here you can have them both to compare! Hey, I'm a poet and I didn't even think I was! The first show was sober... The second one was 6 shots in and a lot more loose! Burn, burn, give! Download Ninja!   $8

"That Ninja's Crazy" DVD—(Released in Fall 2005)
If you have never seen my show.... "Buckle up, yer in for the ride of your life!".... Copy it... give it to friends.  CAUTION: may cause laughter so fierce you lose bowel control!  $15

Dis-Oriented Chinaman Download 1 hour—(CD released in Winter 1999)
Ninja Please! (audio from"That Ninja's Crazy" DVD) 1 hour ; Bonus Clips - 1 hour

All my s&%hit!  For only $10.... Be a REAL ChinaFAN.... Support the Asian comedy that's gonna give you the tee-hee-hee's and make you shoot sn*t out your nostrils.... And also help me get health insurance in the process....Remember, you CAN share the password with as many people as your heart desires for up to one month!   So what the hell is stopping you!?!?  $10

"Ninja, Please!" Black T-Shirt

Across the front-chest of this shirt is an original design by Bob Zilla enclosed in a cartoon bubble! For those of you who don't know who he is -- he was the bassist for the band DamagePlan and also the dude who did all of my tattoos!! No need to say anything at all, just point to the shirt, and they'll know what a ninja means! The back of the shirt has NINJAZ4LIFE across the upper back in block letters.  These are printed on 100% heavyweight cotton... (Available sizes: S, M, L, XL, XXL, XXXL - $1 extra for XXL/XXXL) $15 

Dis-Oriented Chinaman CD
NO LONGER IN PRINT
This is the CD they play clips from on XM Satellite.  My first CD recorded in 1999, in El Paso, TX (one of my favorite cities to perform in)....  Over one full hour of comedy including the hit single "KidWoK".  Be the first on your block to make bootleg copies and pass them out!  I mean that sh*t man!  If you ain't copying it, it ain't doing me no good!  So get it out there, ninjaz!

LIMITED QUANTITIES AVAILABLE!

“POKING SMOT IS FUN!” SHIRT.

Be the first one on your block, or even in your city for that matter to declare that “Poking Smot is fun!”  This shirt has been brought back by popular demand!  Get ready to have other ninjaz askin’ where you got this shirt ‘cause it happens to me at least twice a day when I wear it!  Available in Black only…100% pre-shrunk cotton, this shirt was built to last through numerous smot poking sessions, cologne dousings,  and washings!  Get it here for $16.25 to your door 

(S, M, L,  XL )

LIMITED QUANTITIES AVAILABLE!

“Can you SMELL what the WOK is cookin’?” APRON

For the Hot Dog Fried Rice cook in all of us! This durable, high-quality apron has an adjustable neck strap as well as two deep pockets to hold your utensils (not included), tongs(not included), meat thermometer(not included), or chop sticks(not included), Ninja, please! Available in any color you want as long as that color is black! $16.25 shipped to your front door, ninja!

LIMITED QUANTITIES AVAILABLE!

“NINJA, PLEASE!” BABY DOLL SHIRT FOR GIRLS (OR EMO GUYS!)

These 100% soft cotton baby doll shirts will look hot on your chick!  Or on you if you are a chick…. Or on your girlfriend and you if you are…. I think you get the point!  Includes a lifetime membership to chinaman’s groupie afterparties! 

NINJA, PLEASE!  $16.25 dropped off at your door!  (S, M, L, XL)